Sunday, May 17, 2015


          It’s Coaco’s birthday today.  I remember that day like it was just yesterday. Hard to believe he is now 14 years old. Christine and I had a blast that day. It seemed like it took us forever to get to Build-A-Bear and I remember I barely slept the night before. I was so excited. We stopped at a couple of gift shops along the way too which made the lead up seem extra long. I know I am ultra excited when I have to resort to my “perfect lyrics” game like I would use every Christmas Eve to fall asleep. I know there will be more times like that which make for the best memories. No wonder I barely sleep in Myrtle Beach.

          I had a terrible dream last night that had me waking up at 6:40am crying. It appears as if it was about my mom, but I think it was a reflection back to when my grandma was in the hospital. I guess I am just realizing that I need to be much kinder and more patient with my mother. I want to help her. Right now, I think leading her to success is most important, but I would not be opposed to her living with my family further down the road when and if she needs more assistance. I called her last night even though I did not have much time to talk. I am calling her today so that we can talk more. I miss my mom and want to make sure we do some exciting things together this year.

          I feel like I haven’t been to church in 100 years. I am planning to attend the big Saturday service for Easter. Looks like my lent debit is going to be about $7.50, but I am upping it to $10 just in case I missed any catches. (Writer’s Note: I gave up saying the word “hate” for lent. Every time I said it, I charged myself a quarter which I would donate to the church on Easter Sunday.) I am waiting until I get home to donate though. I want to make sure that money goes to St. Mark rather than a random Catholic church down here in Florida.

          So I finally went horseback riding two days ago! Hard to believe my first time horseback riding ever was in Disney World. My horse’s name was Cowboy. He was all white with ivory/blonde hair. Such a beauty and a funny guy. I was so pumped, then the second I got on that horse, a wave of terror went over me and I was terrified. I thought of all these “what ifs” and kept seeing scenes from Gone with the Wind flash before my eyes. It was ridiculous! I never expected to be scared. We took off and I began to fall in love. Not even 10 minutes in, I was saying, “I want to do this again and it’s not even over yet!” My friend Sarah was with me. It was her first time on a horse too. Turns out we have both dreamed of riding a horse, so it was cool we were able to share that experience. Her horse’s name was Bugsy and he was a cutie. At one point, Cowboy needed to catch up to the rest of the horses (we were the last pair in line) so he took off into a mild run which was super fun. One of the guides said, “Well, at least she knew what to do!” and the other said, “She didn’t know what to do! This is her first time on a horse!” At least I looked like I knew what I was doing, haha. Cowboy was trotting, it turns out. His trot gave me a slight taste of how it would be to ride a running horse. Racing would be amazing. I want to take horseback riding lessons once I get home now that I know how much I love it.

          I have 28 days left in Florida including my travel day. I still need to go to Harry Potter World and the two Disney water parks. I think I am going to wait until my family leaves to go to Harry Potter World so I have a chance to save up for it. I think that would be smarter than going next week. We’ll see anyway. As for the water parks, I want to do one or both next week. I thought of doing surfing lessons, but it is really expensive. Even 50% off it’d cost $83. I might just wait til Hawaii for that experience. Again, we’ll see.

          I won an award yesterday! I became a Disney Library Star for utilizing the library at my apartment so much. It’s all those Golden Girls DVDs, haha. I got a goodie bag with popcorn, candy, and markers. It was so cute! I even have a little bronze star hanging in the library with my name on it. * To be a library star, you have to be in the top 20 people as far as library activity goes. I am in tere almost every day so I see why this is a thing. It was such a pleasant surprise. I do love that movie library especially. If I were here for longer I could work my way up to silver and then gold. I know I would regardless of if I stay or leave though. :P

          Yesterday was the big Easter day for me and my friends. We went on the Epcot Easter Egg Hunt and were awarded one Disney egg each. I chose a Goofy egg and the other girls chose Thumper eggs. It was a lot of fun. We also met Chip & Dale, Donald, Pooh & Tigger, and Duffy. We handed out Easter Eggs to each of them and they were really excited. It was so much fun! Once we were done at the park, we headed home to boil and color Easter Eggs ourselves. It was such a fun day, but it really made me miss my mom a lot since it is usually the two of us participating in Easter activities together. I think that must have been what prompted the dream as well. I can’t wait to call her later today. I need this uneasy feeling to go away.

          I am being pulled to work with Mulan today. They asked me to do a 9.5 hour day instead of 6.5 hour and I said no. $27 extra is not worth my sanity. I just don’t like this job enough for that. It’s something to think that if I were asked to teach dance for 3 hours longer than originally planned, I would likely do it. But I love dance and teaching dance so that is the biggest difference of all. What I think I will do instead is go home and work on my own material rather than stay extra hours. I am making my own Alice line while I am here, but once I get home I will be making more Animal Crossing items in addition to my own original characters – which are still in the works.

          I need to be quite frugal this week. I am going to buy my own lunch one day this weekend, but I think that will have to be it. For the rest of the time I will be following a menu and cooking. Tonight I shall make a pasta dish. I have tuna helper for later this weekend. There is also frozen pizza, pancakes, and noodles. It may not sound crazy awesome, but it’ll get the job done for now. Put that on the priority list for tonight: make food menu, talk to Big Bob while creating, edit video, catch up with Eric. A Walgreens run may be necessary too since I need cereal and milk. Looks like I’ve gotten several things to take care of today, but I am looking forward to them.

          Pretty soon my family will be here, and then even sooner after that I will be on my flight home. The crazy part is that right after I get back I will walk and receive my diploma. I still need to write out a detailed agenda for my art schedule. It is important that I stick to it too. Lots to make, sell, and save. It will be great – difficult at times, I know, but great.

          Everything I have done this year has taught me more and more about taking risks. At my conference, the phrase that stuck with me most was, “I don’t really know of anyone who has succeeded by kind of risking with a big plan B to fall back on.” I think that’s where my problem lies mainly. I don’t want to be that way though. I want to succeed big by taking big risks. I just have to remember that feeling of something new. It may be scary, but it isn’t the end. It’s just the beginning.

          Okay, so in all honesty, maybe I should have taken the extra 3 hours. So why didn’t I and why do I feel bad about it? I think it’s because I know in my heart that I still need the funds, but should that really be what drives me? I don’t want to only be driven by dollar signs. Having to wait for the bus doesn’t help, but I’d have to wait regardless. I guess we are all wrong from time to time. I didn’t know it was going to be a good day. I guess I shouldn’t make so many assumptions. I worked with Mulan today. At first, I thought she was full of herself and unfriendly towards me because I was new to the location. Little did I know she would be the first person to recognize my efforts and give me a four keys card (which is a card that means you went above and beyond with the service you provided). Just goes to show how wrong you can be about a person – or about anything really. Maybe that is why I feel guilty for leaving and not extending. I know I need the money and I know I would have been fine. But hey, I guess I would rather this happened than the opposite. Then I’d be feeling worse inn a much worse way. God helps us make choices, even when sometimes our choices seem really wrong or strange. Sometimes our choices are wrong and strange. He shapes us though, and I know there is a reason my decision is bothering me. There is a lesson written in there somewhere and it may not be the obvious one. I just pray I’ll be able to figure it out.

          This bus has seriously taken 40 minutes. I was hoping to be home by now. I guess I could have just as easily been doing these same things at home, but still. It doesn’t make it any less annoying.

          I was just thinking, what if I started a book lounge, themed like a maid café that sold select books and tea/hot cocoa to guests? It could have indy (did I really just write “indy” instead of “indie?” I must miss home…) performances every once in a while and art could be sold there too – in addition to plushies, of course. I saw a theme in my most recent manga that I really liked. It was centered around Alice in Wonderland – particularly the tea party. I love that idea. We could even have dancing servers there like in real maid cafes and fun animal characters too. I have seen enough of these Disney costumes to know how they work now. We could have a special that comes with a plush rabbit. It would be the cutest!

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